


Brand New Kitchen Gun

by anaturalintrovert



Series: Ni No Kuni Fics [12]
Category: Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Drabble, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Missing Scene, Short & Sweet, hey look i wrote something that isnt angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:49:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29271264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anaturalintrovert/pseuds/anaturalintrovert
Summary: Swaine and Marcassin have very different ideas of “doing the dishes”. Also, Swaine has a tendency to break into Hamelin’s castle without much warning.
Relationships: Jairo | Swaine & Lars | Marcassin
Series: Ni No Kuni Fics [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1899427
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	Brand New Kitchen Gun

**Author's Note:**

> https://youtu.be/3K1XPsJwsyg <— inspo for this fic (heads up for flashing lights and eyestrain)
> 
> So yeah I heard this song for the first time like two days ago and I just wrote a fic about it in like fifteen minutes. Enjoy.

“Gascon, please stop shooting all the glassware.”

“You’re not my mum, you can’t tell me what to do.”

Marcassin had made a mental note to himself: never ever under any circumstance let Swaine into the kitchen at any cost. Especially after dark. Even more especially when he has his gun with him.

Swaine’s method of doing the dishes was a lot different to most. He tended to just... eliminate the problem. More accurately, he’d create a larger problem. You almost couldn’t see the floor through all the shards of glass, crystal, porcelain, and any other breakable substance that you could think of.

Marcassin had just wanted a glass of water and he didn’t want to pester a guard to get it for him. Swaine was supposed to be saving the world or something. Not... whatever this was.

“I’ll call the guards.”

“The dishes are clean now.”

“No, they’re just smaller.” Marcassin picked up a shard of what had to be his favourite teacup and held it between his thumb and index finger for emphasis. “I really liked that teacup.”

“And I like my method of cleaning up.”

“What time is it?”

Marcassin figured that it was the very early morning, but it was tricky to tell. His sleep schedule was getting better but it was hardly perfect. It was hard to make it perfect as is, but the gunshots certainly didn’t help.

“Too late for you to be up. Go to bed, you have a kingdom to rule.”

Marcassin started multiple sentences and stumbled over his words. He settled with, “So we’re just pretending that this is normal?”

“Yes.”

“And I’m just expected to go back to bed while you have a field day shooting at things?”

“Look, I didn’t get the magical genes and this is my only way to have fun.”

Marcassin sighed and took out his sceptre, which he had brought in the name of self defence. Guards were packed into the kitchen like sardines, having accompanied Marc on his mission to deal with the intruder. He made a signal with his hands which put the guards at ease and waved his sceptre around with practice.

Swaine was proud that his brother was such a powerful wizard. A little upset that he couldn’t have his fun, and a little envious of his brother to boot, but proud nonetheless.

Quickly, brooms started to animate themselves as the rune from Broom Broom dissipated into the air. They swept up the shards of shrapnel from Swaine’s little outburst and had them disposed of in a matter of minutes.

Marcassin tipped his nightcap in an attempt to be courteous as he turned to trudge back to his sleeping quarters. “Goodnight, Gascon.”


End file.
